Bonus update; this week, Simon is mostly maekting a gaem!

Simon is a filthy capitalist whore and demands that you THROW YOUR MONEY AT HIM.
Yes, dirty internet people, go here and give him your shiny pennies. It has been whispered in the opium dens of China that if you give Simon sufficient money, he shall dance for you the ancient dance of his forebears.
It is known as the dance of the flaming mangina.